Drainage Disasters and Famous Last Words
by Ruby Bayan
Disaster: Sally, watering the cactus on her top shelf, picks up the phone and starts an animated conversation. She fails to notice that the drainage saucer had started to overflow, dripping brownish liquid onto the front cover of her already late status report.
Famous Last Words: "Sir, I was going to suggest a new corporate logo."
Disaster: Jennifer just couldn't calculate how much water to give her African Violets. She had put them at the far end of the shelf just in case water overflows from the catch basins again. She doesn't notice the excess water flowing across the shelf and trickling on the air holes of her desktop monitor. The brand new 17-inch monitor sizzles and fizzles in a cloud of smoke.
Famous Last Words: "I think it was a virus, M'am."
Disaster: Bob, working on double shift, keeps pouring left-over half-cups of coffee onto the Mother Fern sitting on top of the filing cabinet. Drainage overflow seeps down the open drawers and messes up the official documents. He wipes off the trail from the fern's drainage pan but couldn't do anything about the soiled documents in the cabinet.
Famous Last Words: "Oh, I don't know anything about that. Maybe someone broke in and tried to steal some of our files. Maybe he was drinking coffee... and spilled some while leafing through the folders. I don't know... maybe. Are there any missing files?"
Disaster: Elizabeth puts a small pot of Mona Loa on the center of the new and shiny conference table, and personally waters the plant diligently. She discovers weeks later that the hardwood table finish had been badly stained by drainage spills.
Famous Last Words: "Sir, this table is so nice, I've decided to donate this antique hand-woven runner as a complementing accent. And this basket of silk flowers will be an excellent centerpiece! Uh, Sir, can I talk to you about my request for transfer?"
Disaster: Philip realizes that he couldn't move the Hibiscus he had put in the corner last month because the carpet had decayed from his frequent (though not so obvious) overflows -- he couldn't even lift the catch basin off the floor.
Famous Last Words: "Okay, who glued my Hibiscus to the carpet?"
[First published by Windowbox.com.]