You Can Tell You Have Too Many Office Plants...
by Ruby Bayan
- Your officemates have to yell, "John, are you in there?"
- You start hearing the sound of crickets when you work on overtime.
- Instead of vacuuming dust, the janitors rake leaves from your carpet.
- The boss's secretary goes to your office to cut flowers for her vase.
- Your officemate is mysteriously diagnosed with fertilizer poisoning.
- You make more than five trips to fill your watering can (because you're waiting for the next paycheck to buy a garden hose).
- The cubicle shelves are warping from the weight of the planters -- even after you've propped them up with stacks of user manuals.
- Spanish moss begins to hang from your coat rack.
- There are more soil particles on your desk than official documents.
- Vines are coming out of your PC's multi-media speakers and weeds are sprouting from behind the laser printer.
- The contents of your office supplies cabinet include bags of soil, fertilizer, and cedar mulch.
- Sticking out of your pen holder, among the pencils, are a pair of pruning shears, a trowel, and a mini rake.
- You spend more time talking to the plants than to the clients.
- Your boss sends you a congratulatory memo because your plants have succeeded in absorbing all air-borne toxins from the whole floor.
- Your packed lunch is in a picnic basket.
- You have no space to stick your post-it notes on -- other than the ficus leaves.
- Folks from the other department bring their plants to your office for humidity.
- Folks from the other department go to your office to convene with Mother Nature... or harvest ingredients for their tossed green salad.
- You come to work early and notice a fog in your office.
- Your office smells like a rainforest... or a funeral parlor.
[First published by Windowbox.com.]